Review - BINDING OF ISAAC: REBIRTH (+ Afterbirth DLC) - Unpopular Opinion: it stinks!
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| Remember Full Metal Jacket? "I AM in a world of shit!" Oh well, let's sing! Poop-poop-pee-doo! |
Ahhh The Binding of Isaac! Supposedly the best roguelite ever made!
Millions of people quit their job to start playing it 24/7, it gets around 101% of positive reviews, some even say it cured cancer and might eventually bring peace on earth, and usually, people who dare criticizing it are burned alive in public places.
Well, call me Jeanne d'Arc, as I'm going to destroy this game. 😅🔥
Today, we're playing the "ultimate" Rebirth version, which is a remake of the first release, with the Afterbirth+ DLC, offering 100+ new items, new room layouts, bosses, etc!
First, let's enjoy this piece of art which serves as a trailer for the game!
Alright, I already lost 75% of my sanity. Moving on!🤔
WHAT IS IT? A FUN AND LOVING FAMILY FRIENDLY ROGUELITE
You play as Isaac, a happy child without a care in the world, living alone with his mother. (First sign that we're going to see some serious s*** in this game. Living alone with your mom turns you insane. 😅)
Unfortunately for him, she's a fat cow watching evangelist shows on TV all day long.
Actually, she's so fat that when she gets on a scale, it says "to be continued".😂
Eventually, what was bound to happen finally happens...
She begins to hear god's voice, telling her to sacrifice her son as a proof of her obedience.
Praise the lord for his wisdom, for he knows better!
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| For dinner, I'll eat a bull! And for dessert, I'll just kill my own son with a kitchen knife!😊 |
This introduction drawn with a childish style can't hide the fact that it's one of the most twisted creepy stories I've ever seen. It just makes you feel uneasy and sick right from the start.
The love of a mother is the ultimate sacred love and it's a well-known fact that most serial
killers always had troubled love-hate relations with their own mothers, or were abandoned at birth.
Makes you wonder about what's happening in Isaac's mind(or the developer's mind...), especially as he's older now, since the first game...lol.
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| Leave me alone, you evil flying hairy testicles! |
Anyway, under god's orders, Isaac's oversized mother barges belly-first in his room, knife in hand and ready to slice him up like a pig.
Oh wait! A hatch opens magically on the floor! How convenient!
Quick, Isaac! Jump down! Even if we can hear voices of tortured souls down there!
Then Isaac jumps down in a special place that makes hell look positive and joyful in comparison.
Welcome to Binding of Isaac.
Time to go through endless hellish rooms, fight countless bosses with different playable characters, find secret rooms, and try out unknown items, enjoying what the RNG throws at you!
TIPS!
Destroy "X marks the spot" rocks, there's treasure inside!
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| The game starts gently, with just a few cute enemies with their eyes gouged out. These guys sure know how to party! |
By the way, this is not a spoiler, the developer even wrote it on his Steam page, the final boss is your own mom.
Yep, you end up killing your own mother. This is getting better by the minute.
It reminds me of "the end" by The Doors.
Oh yeah, and also, get ready to die countless times, faster than in any roguelite you've ever played.
Not because the game is difficult though. It's almost easy.
It's just designed that way.
Just a word on the options menu.
I don't see a resolution setting, but only "fullscreen on/off".(I'm playing the latest version)
Although, if you play in windowed mode (like I'm doing), you can resize the window by dragging it. That's what I do because it's fast and easy.
But a more proper way would be this(I found this online):
"If you want to resize the resolution of the window, go to C:\Users\User\Documents\My Games\Binding of Isaac Rebirth. Open options.ini and change WindowWidth=x WindowHeight=x to your liking. Save.
Change WindowPosX=x snd WindowPosY=x for the position of the window at start up, if you like."
Okay, now I start the game, with my heart already filled to the brim with joyful feelings.
TIP!
Using "Jera" in a shop will duplicate all of the consumable items for free!
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| Witness the power of the Jera tarot card! "When used, this rune will double all pickups on the floor in the room" |
GAMEPLAY - BORING AND FLAWED
The Binding of Isaac offers a simplistic gameplay, and you can get used to the wonky controls in a matter of minutes.
You can play with either the keyboard or gamepad, and - FIRST DISAPPOINTMENT - the very underwhelming shooting(welcome to pew-pewyness) is done in 4 different directions.
Yep, old-school.
Note!
in the case you're wondering what are the weapons you get made of...
vomit, urine, and blood. What did I tell you?🤗
On the other hand, after you seriously upgrade your character, the fact that you can shoot in only 4 directions won't really matter anymore, since you'll be unleashing so much fury upon your enemies that you'll fill the entire screen with your bullets going into all directions, magical attacks, minions, etc.
If only the "shooting" was satisfying though.
Even when you reach the highest level possible, your attacks still feel like they have no "weight" to them.
Anyway, at least during the first levels, it will take a little practice before successfully shooting AND dodging enemies.
Especially with these BROKEN HITBOXES.
So, first impressions: BAD.
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| The "homing tears" effect in action! Maybe one of the few I appreciate, but it makes the game even easier.(character is Azazel) |
Binding of Isaac's version of hell is a path strewn with unfair pitfalls, traps and countless gloomy monsters, each having its own attack pattern.
In addition, there are lots of disgusting looking mini-bosses and "big" bosses, who have grown in variety since the first game, just like the global bestiary.
Oh yeah, and poop. LOTS of poop everywhere.
The developer even stated he's fascinated by it.
Get ready for quite a challenge, and try to "optimize" your run when you reach a new floor.
My advice: try to find the treasure room first, it's showing on your map!
(isn't this too easy?)
It contains a randomly generated item(there are hundreds of them available in the game) which will help you a lot against the floor boss!
Once you kill a boss, you'll get another item, and then you'll have the option of either exploring the rest of the level in search of gold, coins, keys, bombs, etc, or to go immediately to the next floor.
Note!
Not every item is good for you. some items will worsen your stats.
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| The boomerang-shaped weapon is kinda cool. And look at that happy looking diarrhea, with yummy looking marshmallows encrusted in it! It sure looks more happy than me playing this piece of c***.😅 |
I would suggest you really complete the floors though, because they hide many opportunities for you to get stronger!
After 7 or 8 levels, your motherless Isaac will be over-powered and turn into a weapon of mass destruction.
Like most proper roguelites, pretty much everything is randomly generated.
It didn't make the experience more interesting to me though.
Why?
Because most generated "seeds" will give you some of the most useless items imaginable.
The good items are only a little fraction of the more obnoxious ones out there, and you have to put a LOT of time to unlock them.
So, you need to get EXTREMELY lucky in order to progress.
"you have to restart the game until you get a good seed!"
Yeah, right... Not sure restarting 50 times, finding a "good" seed and dying in a minute, and then restart 50 times again is very fun...
And the start of each game, while technically different, feels "samey".
Most roguelites (and of course, roguelikes) offer at least some character customization or something to really encourage you to try a new gameplay style each run.
Here, none of that. It's just the same all the time.
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| When this boss turns around, you'll have a nice surprise!😋 |
Oh well, at least, you get "trinkets" that passively influence your skills, or pills whose effect is unknown until you try them(maybe the only "funnish" part), tarot cards with special effects, and a lots of other small ideas that try hard to make the game more interesting.
Unfortunately, the core mechanics are SO limited and basic that whatever updates the developer keeps adding(since YEARS now), it's still as boring as ever.
Eventually, you realize that these hundreds of items barely change the gameplay.
People who love this game say that the real fun lies in "synergies", which is simply item interaction, combining certain items without knowing what to expect.
Sometimes, the result will be an overpowered weapon!
You can try out synergies on that page.
But what is the use of these cool synergies to get over-powered, if the end result is still just shooting at your enemies with no strategy whatsoever?
Again, the core gameplay being boring, trying items for hours until I find the right combination doesn't motivate me.
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| The complete list of all the items you can use in this game. (including all the DLCs) Too bad most of them are not interesting or add very little to the gameplay. |
(I admit that despite a few unfair traps, difficulty is not the thing that annoyed me the most about this game, there are much more difficult roguelites out there. Rogue Legacy on NG+5? lol)
For example, we get a friendlier UI, with extensible mini-map, and something else that most players will LOVE, more detailed object descriptions!
I remember reading some reviews on Steam calling the game "Wikipedia Simulator", because you had to look up every item description, really. (reminds me a bit of the good old days of Terraria, because it was impossible to know how to craft things, in the first versions.. lol)
Well, this problem is mostly solved, at least.
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| One of the secret rooms(retro treasure room) looks like a regular platformer! |
But let's go back to the difficulty a moment.
Even if RNG favors you to get great powerful items, the challenge is still there, and the now bigger and more varied rooms populated by increasingly dangerous monsters can still get you killed much faster than you can say "this game sucks".
I already mentioned enemies unique patterns...
But I forgot to mention that in Rebirth, their shape can change suddenly as it takes damage, which changes in turn their shooting pattern, so stay alert!
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| Non-exhaustive list of the bosses you'll encounter in Binding of Isaac: Rebirth! (credits to derblub14 on Deviantart!) |
Especially because it works very simply: If a friend wants to join you, he only has to press Start on a second controller and he will play as a flying pet next to you.
Careful though! This pet has only one heart, taken from your OWN health bar!
Still, it offers a lot of advantages and you'll appreciate the cooperation!
Some mechanics even feel "over-powered": your flying friend can attract enemies in areas where he is invulnerable, which will help you to slay all of your enemies.Which also means that communication between players will be important.
Talk to each other and decide of which enemy to focus on, for example!
Also, keep in mind that the camera is fixed on Isaac, not the pet, which will be a problem in the new bigger rooms.
Not gonna lie, the game is a bit more fun when you play with a friend.
But then again, isn't it the case for most games?
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| You can get lots of pets! I highly recommend it, actually. I'm only surprised that the sick developer didn't decide to attach them all to each other, the human centipede way. It would be a very fitting tribute in this game. |
Finally, and it's just my personal -unpopular- opinion, I think that now, ALL roguelites should have permanent upgrades.
Why? Because since 5 years or so, ALL of the roguelites I tried which had that mechanic were simply the best of their category.
Binding of Isaac starts feeling seriously outdated in this department.
The game unsatisfying and boring gameplay combined with pure roguelike permadeath turns the experience into something really sleep-inducing as a whole.
The game MIGHT become a TINY BIT more fun when you start being VERY strong, but in order to reach this, you'll have to go through many boring levels first, every time you die.
And the amount of time needed to go through these levels is much bigger than the amount of time you'll enjoy being overpowered. Basically, you yawn 75% of the time, and you finally have more fun during the remaining 25% of your run.
Nowadays, I'm not convinced that people still want to replay the same game over and over, with no progression whatsoever.
Games like Rogue Legacy have changed this and showed us the way of the new roguelites.
(And I do mean roguelites ONLY. I'm ok with true permadeath in pure roguelikes, like Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup. Why? Just because they're fun right from the start, therefore death doesn't feel like a punishment.)
Many great roguelites proved us that permadeath is not only not necessary, but also that there are better ways to make these games addictive and fun to play.
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| How to get this? Poly + Close range mega tears! Thanks to Mr.Wiseau! |
GRAPHICS - EXCUSE ME, I THINK I'M GOING TO VOMIT
After all these years of constant "improvement", the game still looks and feels like a flash game.
The simple foot-drawn pixel "art", although better since the first game, is still unacceptable.
As for the animations, they're all made of a few frames only, and very unprofessionally.
Some enemies don't even have any animations and just move around on the screen...
Did I say Flash? Let me say it again. FLASH. lol
The introduction and "cutscenes" especially are horrifyingly ugly.
I realize that the game is supposed to be seen through the eyes of a child who had a psychological drama, Isaac, but in such an arbitrary extreme case, this justification isn't valid anymore.
"It sounds retarded, but I'm fascinated with the idea of poop."
Edmund McMillen, developer of Binding of Isaac
<= this doesn't sound like he was going for deep psychological symbolism...
On the positive hand, you can forget about the slowdowns, at least!
The game runs perfectly for hours, and although I read some complaints about crashes to desktops, I never experienced one.
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| This reminds me of an Al Bundy joke, after he insulted a fat woman..Fat Woman: How dare you say that to my face! Al: Well I'd say it behind your back but my car's only got half a tank of gas! |
Anyway, we don't play roguelikes/roguelites for their HD graphics, but still...
God, that graphic style is so AESTHETICALLY REPULSIVE.
I have usually an open mind, and I never consider graphics to be "outdated".
I'm totally fine with minimalist pixel art or blocky graphics, etc. I've enjoyed games with much simpler graphics than Binding of Isaac.
But even the most simple games need at least a little of art direction.
I wrote once the game was dark, but it's more SICK than dark, which is a big difference.
We're not dealing with psychological horror(despite the fact that's what the developer claims) or some super scary alone-on-a-spaceship-with-a-monster setting which activates mainly our reptilian brains and awakes our deepest fears... Nope!
(In Binding of Isaac, nothing is scary, it's only disturbing.)
Here, We're just dealing with a very, VERY sick looking game, which PRETENDS to be edgy.
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| Alright, this is the only way to make this game look good. Just install one of the total conversions, Zelda or Mario! |
Edmund McMillen, developer of Binding of Isaac
<= Count me out.😅
From the countless hedgerows of poops you'll encounter in literally every room, to the sick
character design which makes you wonder "how is that even possible?", everything has been "designed" to make you feel queasy.
The developer's lack of artistic sense is felt in every aspect of the game.
Some bosses almost made me vomit.
On a side note, if you want to have nightmares for the rest of your life, here is an additional trailer.
MUSIC - TOO GOOD FOR THIS GAME
To me, the least interesting part of the game, and yet, maybe the best.
Despite not being my style at all, I won't deny the fact that the music is surprisingly way more professional than the rest of the game.
Why do I say it's the least interesting? Only because I can't enjoy it if I can't enjoy the game base itself.
What a waste of nice horror music on such a bad game.
Rebirth tracks sound better than Afterbirth though, which tries too hard with the electric guitars and feels less atmospheric than the base game.
Sounds effects are not that bad if you take them individually.
Unfortunately, they aren't very diverse, and seem to be the exact same sounds from the original flash game.
Most of the time, it sounds like the developer just picked some royalty free sounds here and there, and mixed them all together, creating a very disharmonious ensemble.
SUMMARY
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(VERSION TESTED: Update 21)
Publisher:
Developer:
Release Date:
4 November, 2014
Genre: Roguelite
1-2 PLAYERS
Difficulty:
- Rebirth: Easy - Afterbirth+ DLC: Average and unfair |
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| GRAPHICS: 10% | |
| Abysmal. Sickening. Why. | |
| MUSIC: 79% | |
| Surprisingly pretty good, and would fit perfectly in a GOOD horror game, or even movie. Kudos to Matthias Bossi and Jon Evans. |
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| SOUNDS: 48% | |
| It sounds like free sfx you can find on the net. So, not terrible, but not fitting much... |
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| GAMEPLAY: 30% | |
| The completely outdated luck-driven gameplay will require you to have some serious resistance to frustration and nervous breakdowns. Welcome to RNG world. On the other hand, if you're a fan, the humongous content will occupy you for weeks, either in single or multi-player(which is also perfectly done). |
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| OVERALL RATING: 21% | |
| Everything that people like about this game has been done countless times in other games, and in much better ways. The recent roguelites have raised the bar to a much higher quality, and Bindind of Isaac feels now like a dinosaur coming from the now -almost- defunct flash era. Time to move on. |
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