Review - AGONY - I'm going back to church, I swear!
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| A successful Kickstarter project, Agony is the very first game made by the Polish "Madmind studio". If you have always dreamed of being able to visit the horrific gory bowels of hell, Agony is the place to be. But is this frightful survival-horror as enjoyable as its environments are chaotic? |
| Store | Platform | OVERALL RATING: 33% |
| Buy it on Steam | PC |
+ THE POSITIVE
- Incredible "agonizing" environments- Masterful oppressing sound design - Boobs. Oh, and rubber vaginas too.
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THE NEGATIVE
- Gameplay is painfully slow, rigid and archaic - Checkpoint system is deeply frustrating - Enemy design is subpar but hilarious - Sigil puzzles are aggravating - Some bugs - Console versions are atrociously ugly and unoptimized - What the hell is agony about, anyway? |
| Buy it on Amazon Buy on Playstation.com |
PS4 | |
| Buy it on Amazon Buy on Microsoft |
Xbox One |
Madmind studios original goal was to create "the most immersive and unforgettable experience possible", with "the most terrifying vision of Hell of the history of video games".
You've got to admit it's not something you hear every day.
🍷🍴The menu today, monsieur:
- Gore
- Brutal Sex Scenes
- Lesbian and Gay Sex Scenes
- Genital Physics
- Eye Gouging
- Heart Plucking
- Children Heads Exploding
- Setting Fire to Martyrs and Demons
- Intense Violence
- Strong Language
- Drugs
Hey, do the guys at Madmind Studios know how to party, or what??😅🎉
Too bad the "exploding genitals" and "setting fire to children" has been removed!
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| Your only friend in hell, the Red Goddess! |
You don't really remember who you are, how, or even why you even landed there.
Your main goal is to get out of this nightmare, but, in order to do this, you have to seek answers from the mysterious Red Goddess.
And we'll have you know that this BITCH is going to give you a HARD time. Still though, her help is necessary to get out of hell.
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| I wanted to impale a Hello Kitty doll instead of a skull at first, but I thought it would look a bit out of place in my redecorated room. |
At first, you think that Agony's narration is enticing, and really motivates you to want to know much more about what is going on.
Alas, during the entire game, you'll remain intrigued to know who is really your character, but you'll never get a really clear answer on this subject.
The game has 7 different endings, and all of them fail to deliver and you'll feel forever frustrated to stay in the unknown.
You would think that the occasional dialogues choices could bring up something, but...
On the other hand, the game is so "blurry" that it allows players to have their own interpretation of the whole story, not even mentioning the different endings.
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| To help you in your endless quest of knowledge, you'll be accompanied by a talking portable rubber vagina. Rubber vagina: "Hey Willy! I enjoy our relationship, but I fake my orgasms!" Willy: "How ironic! I fake our relationship, but I enjoy my orgasms!" |
Note!
As everybody expected, the game is so gore that it was already heavily censored.Officially, only a few scenes in two of the possible endings, but when you compare to the previous versions, most of the content has been "tamed".
Official statement by Madmind Studio.
Wouldn't it be such a shame if the uncensored patch was leaked accidentally? 😏
AGONIZING GAMEPLAY 😭
Agony does not really revolutionize the survival-horror genre, and is largely inspired by the Amnesia in its gameplay, which often feels like a walking simulator.
You are devoid of weapons and your best friends during your journey will be your stealth, your torch, your balls, and your ability to possess many creatures from the underworld.
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| "We are both ventriloquists, and we're impaled like pigs. I bleed a bit more!" "I bleed a bit less!" "but we're both bleeding if you know what I mean" |
Note!
It has
to be noted that the game reminds us a LOT of that movie called The Descent, in which a group of six women enter a deep cave system, and
end up struggling to survive against horrifying blind creatures.👍(Get it on Amazon)
STEALTH
While using stealth, you'll also be able to hold your breath to avoid becoming the main dish of the many demonic creatures who lurk in the shadows around you.
This mechanic is unfortunately not enjoyable at all, because of the frustrating A.I., which is too much on its guard, borderline paranoid.
As a result, you will sometimes be forced to run...like hell, and hope to get to the next zone alive, to find the holy grail, a CHECKPOINT to activate.
You get it, the infiltration mechanic is almost never exploitable.
Let's not mention the numerous "one-hit-kill" monsters, who will enjoy chopping you in half without haven't even been properly introduced to you before. How rude.
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| The worst case of hemorrhoids ever witnessed in a game. |
POSSESSIONS
Now, let's talk about what might have been the only interesting thing in Agony's gameplay:
You have the ability to POSSESS any monster in the underworld.
Basically, at the beginning of your adventure, you can only possess "martyrs", basic creatures of hell who can't even attack.
But, as you progress, the game will give you the ability to control slightly larger creatures, finally giving you a satisfying feeling of power.
The downside is that you control them only temporarily, so you will either have to try to find another one, or find a martyr around, who is the only creature that can be possessed indefinitely.
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| Paris subway has improved a lot lately. Kudos to the Froglings. |
TIP!
The possession
feature eventually becomes very burdensome in the long run, so,
we strongly recommend you to switch to automatic possession, because the
manual mode is completely chaotic to handle, because of its totally broken
camera system... There is also a subpar skills system.
You'll have to find forbidden fruits to give you a skill point.
You can then spread these skills points over three tiny skill trees, but once again, this system is not really interesting, as you don't feel the differences at all when you play.
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| "I see that you're one of these glass half-empty kind of guys, eh?" "Yeah. And your joke isn't half-bad, it's ALL bad, asshole. Get lost." |
Between the annoying "run to the hills" situations and useless stealth scenes, there will be some phases of puzzles. And get this...
ALL PUZZLES ARE MANDATORY in order to progress.
Sometimes, they're just boring fetching quests, in which you'll have to find skulls or hearts, and place them in the indicated places...
Others are even more boring puzzles with symbols... You have to find which one to use, and draw it with the blood of your martyr, and thus continue to progress.
All of these puzzles are usually disconcertingly simple and uninspired, and you'll grow weary of their repetitive aspect very early.
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| What is long, hard, and painful to shove down your throat? That's right, a 10 foot pole. Work on your gag reflexes, guys! |
At least, you'll enjoy exploring relatively large areas. Agony has four chapters, divided into several areas to explore. It is impossible to visit them all in one run, and the number of secondary "quests" is quite significant.
(collecting statuettes, finding secret rooms, etc.)
The game doesn't hold your hand and the very few confusing indications you'll get to know where to go will make the experience very irritating after a while. Several areas are so maze-like that you won't have the slightest idea where to go.
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| The true ugly face of feminism, finally revealed! |
Despite all of these problems, the game isn't that hard, as you can customize the difficulty in details in the options.
You can finish the game in 6/7 hours.
To ensure replayability, Agony offers you the so-called "succubus mode", which, as the name suggests, allows you to directly control a succubus in an alternative story.
Finally, the "agony mode", which allows you to browse various procedurally generated areas, and you'll be able compare your highscores with your friends.
GRAPHICS - YOUR AGONY IS GORGEOUS 😍
The game might really not play very well, but at least, you'll still "enjoy" being part of what might be the most convincing and overwhelmingly disturbing environment ever made in a video game.
No surprises, this is Unreal Engine 4, like in State of Decay 2.
Doom 3 hell was for cute kitten, compared to this.
Pinhead would love this and feel at home.
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| As you can see, Madmind Studio loves soft pastels and cute watercolors. |
You'll plunge into sick surrealism scenes pushed to the edges of insanity and complete chaos, served by a masterful use of lighting on the disgusting architecture.
Madmind Studios didn't put ANY boundaries to violence and gore.
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| Our leaders having fun at the Bohemian Grove. |
Agony's atmosphere is really the game's highlight.
The insane artistic direction plunges you into the deepest abysses of hell.
You'll have fun going through gates made of human(?) organs, bloody rivers filled with human limbs, and so on.
Also, it's very clear that the developers were inspired by biblical mythology.
TIP!
To enjoy the graphics at their fullest, we recommend to:- Set the settings to "Ultra"
- Turn off motion blur
- Turn off chromatic aberration (we love it but it's ugly in this game)
- Increase the gamma a bit (1.1/1.2), as the game is VERY dark
The "creatures" you'll meet, on the other hand, are poorly made, and even more poorly animated(and let's not mention the very serious collision bugs), which will lead to very hilarious situations sometimes.
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| "Hey sweetheart! What took you so long?" |
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| "My baby bottle! Where the FUCK is my baby bottle???" |
Agony might be worth it for this reason only, if you want to experience an incredibly detailed hell.
MUSIC - OPPRESSING AND TRAUMATIZING😈
Overall, the sound design is great and very horrific.
The gut-wrenching soundtrack is present all the time, accompanying you always deeper in hell, increasingly becoming oppressive and distressing, especially when demons are after you!
Note!
We HIGHLY suggest to wear headphones, as it'll add a lot of panic to the immersive experience.(list of recommended closed-back headphones, to not disturb your neighbors!😁)The never-ending sounds of suffering people, crying babies, or tortured souls screaming in agony(because of their low-poly faces) give you a sick uneasy feeling in this already morbid atmosphere.
And pay attention to your environment, as you'll always hear your enemies vivid footsteps sounds around you!😲
Still, we consider that this OST is very inappropriate.
Therefore, we recommend you to play Agony while listening to Patrick Hernandez "Born to be Alive" disco megahit instead.
Also, you can try The Little Mermaid's "Under the Sea". 🐬
It goes very well with the hilarious "crushed babies wall" classic scene, and puts you in a good mood for the rest of the day.❤️️
RATING BOX
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VERSION TESTED: First patch, 31-05-2018
Publisher:
Developer:
Release Date:
29 May, 2018
Single-player
Difficulty: Normal
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| GRAPHICS: 88% | |||||||||
| While the disturbing creatures are not very detailed, no one can deny the incredible work on the sick imagery and level design, which perfectly recreates what we could imagine as being hell. Truely the most horrific sight ever witnessed in a game. |
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| MUSIC: 90% | |||||||||
| The hellish music will have you make nightmares and haunt you forever. | |||||||||
| SOUNDS: 92% | |||||||||
| Tormented suffering souls agonizing in the depths of hell, undecipherable monstrous sounds surrounding you all the time, the sound design is traumatizing. In a good way. | |||||||||
| GAMEPLAY: 24% | |||||||||
| A lack of consistency, and numerous aberrations of game design. We sometimes wonder if what we see on the screen is a bug or a real game mechanic. | |||||||||
| OVERALL RATING: 33% | |||||||||
| Another overhyped indie game, which will be forgotten very soon. Suffering from a huge list of technical issues and grotesque writing, the gameplay doesn't hold up. Maybe the game would have been more enjoyable as a simple linear narrative experience than as a broken experience with confusing puzzles? We'll never know. Agony deserves its name, as it's a real agony to play, proving once again that shoving obscenities and gore down the player's throat is not enough to create a remarkable experience. By the way, there's church tomorrow. |
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